I have contemplated for a while now, what to post, and what not to post.
Do I alienate friends and family by posting what I see in the world, or do I just keep it whimsical and lite?
Life hasn't brought me much whimsical and lite lately. Neither has the world stage.
Still, gonna try to keep it whimsical and lite, with the occasional outrage.
Unless...YOU have a better idea!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Order in life
So I have noticed some things as I prepare my daily cup of coffee. I have switched to splenda from sugar, and on certain days, I treat myself to their individual flavored packs, the mocha one being my favorite. What I have noticed is that it is very important I follow the same order, or my coffee doesn't come out right. The proper order would be to pour the coffee into the mug, add the splenda pack, finally add cream and stir.
One morning, I decided to start with my cream, add the splenda pack, then the coffee and stir. I got these little clumps of splenda throughout my coffee. Blech! I still drank it, but it just wasn't quite as good as it could have been.
Makes me grateful for how my life has turned out, ups and downs and all.
I am glad I followed a certain order to my life.
I think it has made it sweeter.
One morning, I decided to start with my cream, add the splenda pack, then the coffee and stir. I got these little clumps of splenda throughout my coffee. Blech! I still drank it, but it just wasn't quite as good as it could have been.
Makes me grateful for how my life has turned out, ups and downs and all.
I am glad I followed a certain order to my life.
I think it has made it sweeter.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
It was a Disneyland PERFECT day!
Today was perfect.
I woke up for the first time in weeks and actually WANTED to get up!
No pain, no exhaustion. Energy has been a foreign concept to me lately.
My first words to my husband?
"Can we go to Disneyland today?"
We are fortunate to have passports, and the boys are still free admission, so off we went. Upon entering the parking area, you could feel the excitement in the boys.
They definitely knew WHERE we were.
First we rode the train, and somehow, we had diaper failure. Thanks Teddy. No matter, I was prepared, and we were off! The boys always eat well when we are at Disneyland for some reason (probably because it is soooo affordable!) and we don't discourage it. When you have one child with eating issues, you are always happy to see him eat well.
Today was no exception, and when you get a finicky eater to eat a carrot, well you know life is good then!
The weather was also on our side. Since the day started with rain, it is always a gamble to head down to Anaheim, but we took the chance anyway. We arrived to brilliant blue skies and a light breezy air.
After 3 hours of rides, snacks and lots of laughs we headed home.
No complaints, no crying.
Boys go to bed no problem. Mom & Dad head to church and even though the mass was in Spanish, everything was perfect.
I know this isn't the most exciting post ever, but I feel truly blessed to have such a fun and easy day. Thanks for the break, God!
Tomorrow, when it isn't so easy, I will have to remember to be thankful for today.
I woke up for the first time in weeks and actually WANTED to get up!
No pain, no exhaustion. Energy has been a foreign concept to me lately.
My first words to my husband?
"Can we go to Disneyland today?"
We are fortunate to have passports, and the boys are still free admission, so off we went. Upon entering the parking area, you could feel the excitement in the boys.
They definitely knew WHERE we were.
First we rode the train, and somehow, we had diaper failure. Thanks Teddy. No matter, I was prepared, and we were off! The boys always eat well when we are at Disneyland for some reason (probably because it is soooo affordable!) and we don't discourage it. When you have one child with eating issues, you are always happy to see him eat well.
Today was no exception, and when you get a finicky eater to eat a carrot, well you know life is good then!
The weather was also on our side. Since the day started with rain, it is always a gamble to head down to Anaheim, but we took the chance anyway. We arrived to brilliant blue skies and a light breezy air.
After 3 hours of rides, snacks and lots of laughs we headed home.
No complaints, no crying.
Boys go to bed no problem. Mom & Dad head to church and even though the mass was in Spanish, everything was perfect.
I know this isn't the most exciting post ever, but I feel truly blessed to have such a fun and easy day. Thanks for the break, God!
Tomorrow, when it isn't so easy, I will have to remember to be thankful for today.
Obtaining Contentment
My "situation" to some would be considered enviable, to others, not so desirable.
I left a great paying job in July to pursue a better relationship with my children & husband. With that came many so-called sacrifices. I say so-called, because to some people, not stopping at Starbucks every day hardly seems like a sacrifice. I would agree, but I am also giving up 8 hours a day of adult interaction, financial soundness, full medical benefits for my family, oh, and don't forget that free pound of coffee a week!
What I am gaining, I hope to be tenfold in happiness and contentment.
I left a great paying job in July to pursue a better relationship with my children & husband. With that came many so-called sacrifices. I say so-called, because to some people, not stopping at Starbucks every day hardly seems like a sacrifice. I would agree, but I am also giving up 8 hours a day of adult interaction, financial soundness, full medical benefits for my family, oh, and don't forget that free pound of coffee a week!
What I am gaining, I hope to be tenfold in happiness and contentment.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Selective Vision
"Alex, wipe up your spill!"
As I watch Alex wipe all AROUND the spill, I wonder, where does he get this vision, this ability to completely ignore the mess right in front of his eyes.
Sadly, I cannot blame my husband for this one!
It is me, all me.
He gets this flaw from me. I have the incredible ability to walk pass any mess (outside of work) and not see it, especially ones I have created.
I have 2 explanations for this, well 3, if I just want to blame myself and my laziness.
The first one is my mom. Now I know, I shouldn't be blaming my mom for my shortcomings, and those of you that know me, know I usually don't do this. However, growing up, I was allowed to lead a completely chore free life. Once or twice a year I took out the trash, and occasionally I was threatened for having a messy room, but overall, my life was completely carefree. No responsibility except for homework and play. Even my mom acknowledges today she should have given me more work, but considering the childhood she had, where she was responsible for so many chores, she just wanted me to be a kid for a while. Thankfully, I recognize that I had an incredible childhood not encumbered by work, so in reality, I should be thanking her for all the time off. (thanks mom!)
The second "explanation" I have is Starbucks, and the 14 years I put in there, plus the other 8 years of retail experience I possess. When you work in Retail, knowing any moment a "bigwig" can walk into your store with your career hanging in the balance, you learn quickly how to keep things looking good and spotless. My employees called it "the eye", and they immediately knew when I spotted a speck of dust, a tiny droplet of a spill or the smallest fingerprint on a window. (It was this "eye" that led me to quit my job in July, but I digress... perhaps we will tell that story another day).
The consequence of having such a keen eye at work, with all the pressures involved in supervising 15 people that can get you fired if they don't do their job, is that by the time you get home, the LAST thing you want to do is clean a mess. However, since I no longer work at Starbucks, I guess I can't really use that one as an excuse either.
Dang it, all out of excuses!
I guess my task is to help Alex grow beyond my issues, or find him a wife one day that doesn't mind cleaning up after him. He has other strengths, like humor, charm, & compassion that I never thought I would be able to see in a three year old.
Besides, his two year old brother Teddy doesn't mind helping me clean up.
As I watch Alex wipe all AROUND the spill, I wonder, where does he get this vision, this ability to completely ignore the mess right in front of his eyes.
Sadly, I cannot blame my husband for this one!
It is me, all me.
He gets this flaw from me. I have the incredible ability to walk pass any mess (outside of work) and not see it, especially ones I have created.
I have 2 explanations for this, well 3, if I just want to blame myself and my laziness.
The first one is my mom. Now I know, I shouldn't be blaming my mom for my shortcomings, and those of you that know me, know I usually don't do this. However, growing up, I was allowed to lead a completely chore free life. Once or twice a year I took out the trash, and occasionally I was threatened for having a messy room, but overall, my life was completely carefree. No responsibility except for homework and play. Even my mom acknowledges today she should have given me more work, but considering the childhood she had, where she was responsible for so many chores, she just wanted me to be a kid for a while. Thankfully, I recognize that I had an incredible childhood not encumbered by work, so in reality, I should be thanking her for all the time off. (thanks mom!)
The second "explanation" I have is Starbucks, and the 14 years I put in there, plus the other 8 years of retail experience I possess. When you work in Retail, knowing any moment a "bigwig" can walk into your store with your career hanging in the balance, you learn quickly how to keep things looking good and spotless. My employees called it "the eye", and they immediately knew when I spotted a speck of dust, a tiny droplet of a spill or the smallest fingerprint on a window. (It was this "eye" that led me to quit my job in July, but I digress... perhaps we will tell that story another day).
The consequence of having such a keen eye at work, with all the pressures involved in supervising 15 people that can get you fired if they don't do their job, is that by the time you get home, the LAST thing you want to do is clean a mess. However, since I no longer work at Starbucks, I guess I can't really use that one as an excuse either.
Dang it, all out of excuses!
I guess my task is to help Alex grow beyond my issues, or find him a wife one day that doesn't mind cleaning up after him. He has other strengths, like humor, charm, & compassion that I never thought I would be able to see in a three year old.
Besides, his two year old brother Teddy doesn't mind helping me clean up.
Monday, October 13, 2008
The Preschool Experiment
So, Alex started preschool. ahhh... the dilemma.
With battling opinions of experts, including the Grandma's, sometimes you just gotta take a leap and do what you think is best.
Alex is a little behind. He doesn't yet speak more then 20 words, and he doesn't speak in any short sentences. The school district is responsible for getting him the extra help he needs & due to his early birth, he is eligible for benefits other residents don't get (i.e. free speech therapy, occupational therapy, and adapted PE)
These are things you don't even think about when having your first child, after all, no one plans to have a bad pregnancy. Only the super rich could have kids if these were things you deeply considered.
So what is the argument? Some people say "preschool" is code for "daycare". (Disclaimer, I have nothing but support and admiration for mom's who work, and therefore utilize daycare, this is not a debate about whether or not you should be a stay at home mom)
Daycare, implying he is just being 'babysat' and not 'educated'.
My biggest fear is that the next two years will just be a waste of time where I have "pawned" my child off on other people, and my friends and family will look at me like I didn't do my job.
My leap of faith begins, and I place my faith in the special education experts.
With battling opinions of experts, including the Grandma's, sometimes you just gotta take a leap and do what you think is best.
Alex is a little behind. He doesn't yet speak more then 20 words, and he doesn't speak in any short sentences. The school district is responsible for getting him the extra help he needs & due to his early birth, he is eligible for benefits other residents don't get (i.e. free speech therapy, occupational therapy, and adapted PE)
These are things you don't even think about when having your first child, after all, no one plans to have a bad pregnancy. Only the super rich could have kids if these were things you deeply considered.
So what is the argument? Some people say "preschool" is code for "daycare". (Disclaimer, I have nothing but support and admiration for mom's who work, and therefore utilize daycare, this is not a debate about whether or not you should be a stay at home mom)
Daycare, implying he is just being 'babysat' and not 'educated'.
My biggest fear is that the next two years will just be a waste of time where I have "pawned" my child off on other people, and my friends and family will look at me like I didn't do my job.
My leap of faith begins, and I place my faith in the special education experts.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
A Day to Never Forget
I was working that morning, at Starbucks.
Probably the most memorable day of my working life.
Watching people come in and out, sharing more bad news with each person who joined the line.
Tears streaming down customers and partners faces.
Joy that we were not alone that morning.
The proudest I had ever felt for my company, was the moment the phone call came. All stores were closing, nationwide, so families could be together.
Thank you Starbucks. Thank you Howard B, and Howard S, for doing the right thing.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Olympics
For the past three nights, only one thing has captured my attention.
No, not Perez Hilton... the Olympics.
I really stepped back from the Olympics, once they started letting the professionals in.
I really don't see how Kobe Bryant belongs in the Olympics, but what do I know.
As a result of that change, there are certain events I just have no interest in,
Basketball & Tennis for starters.
Oh, but the swimming and gymnastics! Wow.
Despite all the controversies, the Chinese in particular have captured my attention and respect.
They are just amazing. While I of course root for my Americans, one just can't help but cheer on the Chinese because they are just so extraordinary!
Then, there is Phelps. I felt like an idiot, but yes, I was up past 10pm screaming at my tv... go, go, go!
I am surprised no one in the neighborhood called the police.
With tears of joy streaming down my face, I was hooked again.
No, not Perez Hilton... the Olympics.
I really stepped back from the Olympics, once they started letting the professionals in.
I really don't see how Kobe Bryant belongs in the Olympics, but what do I know.
As a result of that change, there are certain events I just have no interest in,
Basketball & Tennis for starters.
Oh, but the swimming and gymnastics! Wow.
Despite all the controversies, the Chinese in particular have captured my attention and respect.
They are just amazing. While I of course root for my Americans, one just can't help but cheer on the Chinese because they are just so extraordinary!
Then, there is Phelps. I felt like an idiot, but yes, I was up past 10pm screaming at my tv... go, go, go!
I am surprised no one in the neighborhood called the police.
With tears of joy streaming down my face, I was hooked again.
Heaven for Green Beans
If you like Cilantro, you will LOVE these...double it... trust me!
Fasoliyyeh Bi Z-Zayt (Syrian Green Beans with Olive Oil)
Ingredients
1 (16 ounce) package frozen cut green beans
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
salt to taste
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
Directions:
Place the green beans into a large pot, and drizzle with olive oil. Season with salt to taste, and put the lid on the pot. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until beans are cooked to your desired doneness. Syrians like it cooked until the green beans are turning brownish in color. The idea is not to saute them, but to let them steam in the moisture released by the ice crystals.
Add cilantro and garlic to the beans, and continue to cook just until the cilantro has started to wilt. Eat as a main course by scooping up with warm pita bread or serve as a side dish.
Fasoliyyeh Bi Z-Zayt (Syrian Green Beans with Olive Oil)
Ingredients
1 (16 ounce) package frozen cut green beans
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
salt to taste
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
Directions:
Place the green beans into a large pot, and drizzle with olive oil. Season with salt to taste, and put the lid on the pot. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until beans are cooked to your desired doneness. Syrians like it cooked until the green beans are turning brownish in color. The idea is not to saute them, but to let them steam in the moisture released by the ice crystals.
Add cilantro and garlic to the beans, and continue to cook just until the cilantro has started to wilt. Eat as a main course by scooping up with warm pita bread or serve as a side dish.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
My first concern was this was about MY MOM!
Just kidding mom!
Grandmother arrested for having child sit on car's roof
Posted on Thu, Aug. 07, 2008
The Associated Press
MARATHON, Fla. -- Authorities say a grandmother was arrested for driving around the parking lot of a Marathon grocery store with her 3-year-old child sitting on the roof of the car.
Monroe County Sheriff's Office deputies were called to the Publix store Tuesday and arrested 54-year-old Brenda Bouschet after she was driving around with her three-year-old granddaughter on the roof of her car.
Bouschet was released from jail 15 hours later.
Bouschet said Thursday she would never let anything hurt her granddaughter. She says she was driving at "snail-speed" and holding the child's leg.
Authorities say Bouschet told police she was giving the child some air and letting her have fun.
She faces charges of child abuse. The child is back with her mother.
Grandmother arrested for having child sit on car's roof
Posted on Thu, Aug. 07, 2008
The Associated Press
MARATHON, Fla. -- Authorities say a grandmother was arrested for driving around the parking lot of a Marathon grocery store with her 3-year-old child sitting on the roof of the car.
Monroe County Sheriff's Office deputies were called to the Publix store Tuesday and arrested 54-year-old Brenda Bouschet after she was driving around with her three-year-old granddaughter on the roof of her car.
Bouschet was released from jail 15 hours later.
Bouschet said Thursday she would never let anything hurt her granddaughter. She says she was driving at "snail-speed" and holding the child's leg.
Authorities say Bouschet told police she was giving the child some air and letting her have fun.
She faces charges of child abuse. The child is back with her mother.
I have become one of those moms...
you know, the ones that go to mcdonalds with their children, make a big mess, have to have a worker come and mop, and then proceed to make another big mess, 5 minutes later?
You know the sad, sad thing? Neither Teddy nor Alex were the ones that spilled. Nope. It was all ME!
For the third spill... well, do I dare say? For the third spill, I was all out of napkins, the wipes don't really absorb that much liquid... and I didn't want to ask for more napkins. So, I opened my diaper bag, grabbed a CLEAN diaper, (hey, it was all I had...I pack light!) and quickly mopped up my mess before on of the beleaguered employees saw what I had done, again! It suffices to say I will not be making an appearance any time soon at that restaurant!
You know the sad, sad thing? Neither Teddy nor Alex were the ones that spilled. Nope. It was all ME!
For the third spill... well, do I dare say? For the third spill, I was all out of napkins, the wipes don't really absorb that much liquid... and I didn't want to ask for more napkins. So, I opened my diaper bag, grabbed a CLEAN diaper, (hey, it was all I had...I pack light!) and quickly mopped up my mess before on of the beleaguered employees saw what I had done, again! It suffices to say I will not be making an appearance any time soon at that restaurant!
So, alot has happened this past year...
Haven't figured out how to be both a blogger and a company employee. The company won out, for a time. Well, I have now quit Starbucks, which is really a good thing. When the things that go on at work put you in a bad mood for your family, well, that is when you know it is time to go.
So, as of July 7th, I have promoted myself to Starbucks Customer. Don't worry, I won't go into the details. I am still a Starbucks customer and fan, and wish them success. I am a little sad I won't be a part of it. I suppose now I will have to blog more frequently, right? Onward.
So, as of July 7th, I have promoted myself to Starbucks Customer. Don't worry, I won't go into the details. I am still a Starbucks customer and fan, and wish them success. I am a little sad I won't be a part of it. I suppose now I will have to blog more frequently, right? Onward.
Friday, July 11, 2008
I got the promotion!
So, Tuesday I got the promotion I was looking for... promotion to customer.
While I am sad to have left on negative terms, my heart is overjoyed that I never have to put on a green apron again!
While I am sad to have left on negative terms, my heart is overjoyed that I never have to put on a green apron again!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
For Lori and Donna...
My 2 wonderful first time pregnant friends!
Just some advice...
Preparation for Parenthood
Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.
1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans.
Men: to prepare for paternity, go the local drug store, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper and read it for the last time.
2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior. Enjoy it - it'll be the last time in your life that you will have all of the answers.
3. To discover how the nights feel, walk around, the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 lbs. at 10pm put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1am.
Put the alarm on for 3am. As you can't get back to sleep, get up a 2am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45 am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4am. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
4. Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
5. Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: first buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.
6. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a can of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet tube. Using only scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into a Christmas tree. Last, take a milk container, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Coco Puffs and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations, you have just qualified for a place on the playgroup committee.
7. Forget the Miata and buy a Mini Van. And don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream bar and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a quarter. Stick it in the cassette player. Take a family-size packet of chocolate cookies. Mash them down the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. -There! Perfect!
8. Get ready to go out. Wait outside the toilet for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand, until the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back in the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
9. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.
10. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this do not even contemplate having children.
11. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Froot Loops and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half of the Froot Loops are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12-month old baby.
12. Learn the names of every character from Barney and Friends, Sesame Street and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. When you find yourself singing "I love you, you love me" at work, now!, you finally qualify as a parent.
Just some advice...
Preparation for Parenthood
Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.
1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans.
Men: to prepare for paternity, go the local drug store, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper and read it for the last time.
2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior. Enjoy it - it'll be the last time in your life that you will have all of the answers.
3. To discover how the nights feel, walk around, the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 lbs. at 10pm put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1am.
Put the alarm on for 3am. As you can't get back to sleep, get up a 2am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45 am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4am. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
4. Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
5. Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: first buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.
6. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a can of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet tube. Using only scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into a Christmas tree. Last, take a milk container, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Coco Puffs and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations, you have just qualified for a place on the playgroup committee.
7. Forget the Miata and buy a Mini Van. And don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream bar and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a quarter. Stick it in the cassette player. Take a family-size packet of chocolate cookies. Mash them down the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. -There! Perfect!
8. Get ready to go out. Wait outside the toilet for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand, until the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back in the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
9. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.
10. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this do not even contemplate having children.
11. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Froot Loops and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half of the Froot Loops are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12-month old baby.
12. Learn the names of every character from Barney and Friends, Sesame Street and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. When you find yourself singing "I love you, you love me" at work, now!, you finally qualify as a parent.
2 year olds suck sometimes!
So, I NOW know why Hotels have that seemingly useless upper lock thingy on their doors.
It is so 2 year olds can't escape the room while you are trying to go "potty".
Last night, after a blissful day with the family in Del Mar, CA (we were visiting with my cousin who just came home from a tour in Kuwait) A.J. decides to run outside to find Daddy and T.F.
Unfortunately, A.J. decides to run the OPPOSITE direction of Daddy and T.F.
Luckily, I heard the door close, so I made a quick exit from my "business", and ran out the door to find A.J., whom I could hear screaming somewhere, terrified that he was lost!
Down the hall, around the corner, around ANOTHER corner, and thank GOD there he was, crying his little heart out. A kind woman was trying to calm him down, and I swooped him up into my arms, and joined him in this crying fest!
Nothing like a little relaxing family vacation to make you feel like a horrible parent!
It is so 2 year olds can't escape the room while you are trying to go "potty".
Last night, after a blissful day with the family in Del Mar, CA (we were visiting with my cousin who just came home from a tour in Kuwait) A.J. decides to run outside to find Daddy and T.F.
Unfortunately, A.J. decides to run the OPPOSITE direction of Daddy and T.F.
Luckily, I heard the door close, so I made a quick exit from my "business", and ran out the door to find A.J., whom I could hear screaming somewhere, terrified that he was lost!
Down the hall, around the corner, around ANOTHER corner, and thank GOD there he was, crying his little heart out. A kind woman was trying to calm him down, and I swooped him up into my arms, and joined him in this crying fest!
Nothing like a little relaxing family vacation to make you feel like a horrible parent!
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