|1970'ish Ford Wagon similar to mom's|
As I raise my boys, I have taken what mom would call unnecessary risks. Teaching T. when he was 4 years old how to use the stove, allowing A. to ride a razor scooter without a helmet, letting the boys cross the street at 8 & 9, alone, without mommy. Some of these things she was here to witness, others I hope she is witnessing with a front row seat in heaven. The amazing thing to me was while she was alive, she never criticized me (at least that I know of!) for my hands off parenting style, even though I know a lot of must have freaked her out. I think she recognized what it was in response to. So I've adopted her style of embracing the road, the long drive, the adventures into unknown places by car (or train!) with the boys, and I've also embraced some of her protectiveness: no spending the night at other kids houses, don't leave the block. I've also allowed other things to occur that would never have happened at my house growing up: have your friends spend the night at our house, yes, you can have chocolate cake for breakfast, yes you can skip school today and hang with me, yes your friend can come inside the house to hang out, want to sit in my lap and steer as I back out the car?
Which leads me to tonights adventure: going to Hollywood to see a show put on by the boys favorite YouTuber. I can hear mom right now, "no large concerts/crowds because there may be a stampede if there is a fire or some other emergency". I hear her thoughts, what I imagine her thoughts to be, but they are actually my own anxieties, creeping into my head: "What if there is a terror attack? What if a drunk driver hits us on the freeway? If I take the train will we be accosted by homeless people? What if we are robbed in Hollywood? How will you protect 4 boys all by yourself?". My voice and my moms voice, all mixed up in my head and heart. All things that could happen, but probably won't. Of course, none of these thoughts entered my mind as I saw the tickets were going on sale, lucky for DanTDM, the youTuber I just handed over $200 to watch with the boys and two of their friends (note to self, bring earplugs). So as a result of momentary weakness I become "Mom of the Year", for at least a few hours to my kids. Hmmm, this being bold thing can be expensive. So I will go, and enjoy the boys having fun with their friends and try to remember this is their first big adventure in Hollywood. A future "hey, remember that time mom took us and two of our friends to Hollywood to see DanTDM" story. Maybe even something they will tell their own children. Something they might remember when they are mad at me. Something they will remember and maybe they will say "mom was so brave and she loved us so much she sat through a stupid DanTDM show (no offense to DanTDM). At least I hope so.
Maybe one day Pete can guest blog the story of the time he killed the Ford Station Wagon.